My latest illustration in the ‘PIPE DREAMS’ series

Beetroot and beer. Humorous gardening illustration.

Sometimes I need a break from my usual painting style. Mainly, it is because I spend six days a week in the studio, often working until late at night, which sometimes leads to temporary burnout. When this happens, I do one of two things: write or paint something lighthearted. The ‘Pipe Dream’ series of illustrations provided an opportunity to make fun of myself. I took up gardening several years ago, determined to grow vegetables to eat.

Year one was hapless. Year two, my produce was ravaged by blight, aphids, caterpillars and even some mice who appeared to like beans. Year three, after installing a greenhouse, I grew enough tomatoes, cucumbers, and chillies to stock a supermarket. Well, slight exaggeration, but you get the gist. However, the one thing I haven’t managed to do is grow an impressively large vegetable. Consequently, the failure seemed like something to exploit, given my inept attempts at competition-sized vegetable gardening.

Taking photographs of myself in different poses for the illustrations has been both hilarious and frustrating. Setting the camera for a time delay, then running away to pose, has led to a considerable number of unusable shots, many of which show me blinking or gurning like Les Dawson. And in the first few pictures, my belly was a tad large, perfect for character, but then I went on a diet and lost much of the attribute. Answer: put a cushion under my jumper, which isn’t as easy to photograph as it might sound. Sometimes I looked pregnant with quadruplets, sometimes the cushion poked out, and sometimes it distorted to the point where I looked like I had a writhing python under my shirt!

This illustration should be called ‘Beetroot, beer and cushion’. The beer, by the way, is 0% alcohol, which has fewer calories!